Today is the 10th Anniversary of ‘World Suicide Prevention Day’ (10th September 2012)
The Samaritans statistics show that every 57 seconds, they receive a call from someone thinking about suicide.
This sensitive subject effects many.
I used to work on a head injury department when I was a teenager, my first job out of school. That short time will remain with me forever.
Each room filled with a story that needed to be heard, some that would break you as you sat and listened to the lives of these precious people.
One will never be able to tell his story fully. As a young man he felt his life was empty, life meant incredible pain to him, so chose to end his life by throwing himself in front of a train. He was saved by emergency teams, but his pain was un-ending, as barely able to communicate from paralysis and severe brain damage.
If you spent time with him, you gradually got to know him from his eye and tongue movements. I got to know his sense of humour, he was so cheeky. Sadly he sat in another type of prison, his broken body, unable to function as he would have liked it to….
I wrote the below poem from experience of a number of conversations I have had with people affected by the tragedy of suicide.
A poem: Feeling hopeless
Pain; like I have never known before – when will it ever stop?
The ice cold word rings in my heart, crushing, with deafening silence.
Sirens going off, at every chance; jolting me from my stupor, draining every part of me.
Alone, I stand in a crowd of noise, ‘Can anyone hear me?’ Nobody knows, least of me.
Words confusing, losing me, frightening me.
Sadness envelops me, pretending to be my only friend.
Darkness never ending.
Hope no longer greets me; lost in turmoil of nothingness.
Body crumpled under the strain of hammering pressure.
Straining to see sunlight through a black veil, beauty of life slipping away.
Distorted emotions, I would rather not feel.
Desperation spilling out of every part of me.
Silent tears dragging on my very being tearing me apart.
Today, tomorrow, whatever that is supposed to be, never ending cycle of what it’s not meant to be
The bare plains shouting back at me; an echo of my own voice.
Dreams, aspirations; not for me.
My world un-moving, un-changing; trapped behind these prison cell walls.
Exhaustion like I have never felt before,
feelings evade me, my heart a steel wall.
Burdens surround me, breaking me at every chance.
A pit of darkness my home; my focus, my aim, my pull.
Questions tie me to un-relenting questions,
‘Will anyone miss me, when I have gone?’
Shadows clamoring to answer every broken thought; locking me in tightly to un-ending chains, filled with throbbing wounds.
My world becomes smaller; just me and my friend, pain.
‘Will anyone miss me, when I have gone?’
Questions turn to silence.
My thoughts and prayers are with all those who are contemplating suicide today, and for the families who have lost loved ones, through the anguish of suicide.
If you are considering taking your life, or are affected by suicide, please reach out to someone to talk about how you are feeling.
Some suggested places for help
Samaritans UK – 08457 90 90 90 (UK number)
Pieta House – (Suicide and Self Harm Crisis Centre) – +353 (01) 601 0000
Calm Zone – for young men aged 15-35, but no one is turned away. – 0800 58 58 58
Papyrus – (Prevention of young suicide) – HOPElineUK 0800 068 41 41 (UK number)
Save – (Suicide awareness voices of education) 1-800-273-8255
Please visit ISAP (International Association For Suicide Prevention) for further information about this awareness day.
Please join me for my next post, looking at how there is hope when life feels hopeless.
I will be lighting a candle and thinking about those who are effected by this sensitive subject.
Please join with me in lighting a candle and offering up this prayer.
We come before You offering the pain in our hearts.
Our thoughts and prayers are with those affected by the devastation from attempted or committed suicide,
We thank You that you understand great pain.
Please draw close to all those considering taking their life today.
Please bring Your angels to surround them, protect their hearts and minds, draw Your people around them to be You, in their great anguish.
May they meet with You and see Your great love for them.
For all the families who have lost loved ones, we stand with them in their tears and heart break.
We call upon Your Holy Spirit, for Your healing and comfort.
In the impossible we reach out to the possible, in Your name.
In the brokenness of our lives we humbly kneel before Your throne of grace, and seek Your face.
Where people are desperate we ask for Your help to reach them at their deepest need.
Please may Your church reach out to those in great pain and be Your light in the darkness.
We thank You that there is great hope in You.
Thank You for hearing our prayer.
‘I look up to the mountains—does my help come from there?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth!’
Psalm 121: 1-2 NLT